The One When I Peed on a Stick

November 20, 2009 at 8:24 pm 5 comments

Who would have thought a little bit of urine, a piece of plastic from Rite-Aid, and 2 minutes (or in my case about 20 seconds) could totally change your evening beverage choice and many other more important decisions for the rest of your life.  

We had recently decided we were finally “ready” to take the plunge into parenthood.  We threw caution to the wind thinking it would take up to a year to get pregnant…apparantly it only took a night at the Portland, Oregon Shiloh Inn!

In early August, after a weekend of wine tasting celebrating Eric’s birthday, I noticed I was a “few days late”.  I told Eric that it was a busy week for me, so if things didn’t “change” by the end of the week, I should probably take a pregnancy test.  The next day I arrived home to a beautiful bouquet of flowers from the Farmer’s Market…and two tests Eric picked up from the store on the way home.  🙂

I had imagined that by the time we would try to start a family, I would already feel the maternal instinct, and would cry tears of joy as I read the positive pregnancy test.  I even imagined recording us reading the test for the first time, then later posting it on Youtube to tell our family and friends our exciting news.  As I went to take the test, I realized…this wasn’t the Kodak moment I had built up in my head.

Before I could even get out of the bathroom, it was VERY clear, we were pregnant.  There were no tears of joy…I just laughed.  Eric could hardly wait to hear the results, and couldn’t figure out why I was laughing.  He hugged me with excitement, and again, asked why I was still laughing.  I think they were laughs of anxiety and of shock that I was really pregnant.  I was intending to open a good bottle of wine that night, instead…I asked Eric to just hug and hold me while I processed the many emotions I was feeling. 

I was relieved that I didn’t have the “oh no, I’m pregnant, what are we going to do” feeling – I was far from that…but I also didn’t have the tears of joy that I was expecting, and in my head imagined all my girlfriends who are moms had.

I finally was able to describe what I was feeling to Eric.  I felt totally awkward and out-of-place, like I was in middle school all over again.  I was finally settling into Sacramento life, redefining and shaping my owned “identity”, and feeling comfortable in my skin – then in less than two minutes everything changed.  I felt that all of a sudden I was labeled with the “mom-to-be” identity and I had NO idea what to do!  It was as though I just entered a foreign country.  They stamped my passport and sent me on my way…I could understand the language spoken, but couldn’t speak it myself, nor did I understand the customs or behaviors expected of me.  I had mixed feelings of wanting desperately to tell my girlfriends immediately and ask for advice and guidance, yet at the same time I didn’t want people to think I was asking stupid questions and not ready for this. 

Eric did two wonderful things in the next 24 hours to help me feel more prepared for this new and exciting journey.  1: He helped me look up pregnancy food “do’s and don’ts” so, in my words, I didn’t eat something stupid.  2: He went to the library and checked out 5 pregnancy books so we could start figuring out the world of pregnancy and parenthood, and to get a glimpse of what to expect. 

It didn’t take me long to happily and proudly ADD the label of “mom-to-be” to my identity.  Once I got over the initial shock, started to feel the 1st Tri sickness (the pregnancy suddenly became very real!), and start-up the learning curve of all things pregnancy/parenting, I have become VERY EXCITED to be a Mom!  It’s such an amazing and blessed experience, for which I’m very grateful.

Advertisements

Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Funny Observations My Running Heroes

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. hilstreet  |  November 21, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    Yay! The prego posts begin!

    Reply
  • 2. roadwarriorette  |  November 30, 2009 at 8:45 am

    I still think Sarah is a good name, even for a boy.

    Reply
  • 3. DogBlogger  |  December 7, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    Thanks for naming that you didn’t match the stereotypical vision of happiness when you found out! I see your reaction as more like how I might someday react, too. It’s oddly comforting.

    Reply
  • 4. What New Babies Need … « On Hil Street  |  December 10, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    […] 9, 2009 in faith, friends I’m in that phase of life where my friends are having babies all the time. I host baby showers at least monthly with my trusty companion, Sarah H. I recently […]

    Reply
  • 5. Camdog  |  January 1, 2010 at 9:01 am

    Tara, I love your blog.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed



%d bloggers like this: