The One with the FAQ

Now that I’m well into my third trimester, I have found there are common questions asked to a pregnant woman.  I’ve tried to capture some below along with my typical verbal response mixed in with the sarcastic thoughts that run through my head.

1. When are you due?  or How far along are you?  The due date question is much easier to answer – April 8th.  The how far along question depends on who’s asking, I’ve come to learn there is fuzzy math that comes with pregnancy.  It is commonly understood that pregnancy is 9 months long – well, sorta.  A full term pregnancy is 40 weeks, divide that by 4 and you get 10 months.  So how does 30 weeks translate to months?  Divide by 4 and you are 7 1/2 months, look at a calendar and you’ll see you have 2 1/2 months left.  Adds up to 10 months but the average person asking is looking for a total of 9 months.  Answer – if it’s a mom, soon-to-be-mom, or new dad asking – I answer in weeks, otherwise, I do my best month estimate.  Now that I’m almost 35 weeks, I just say 5 weeks to go.
2. What is the gender?  It’s a boy. 
3. Do you have a name picked out?  Most people are just making small talk, but this is a BIG deal.  We have felt so much pressure narrowing down our names to find what feels right for this child we have yet to meet.  It has been an intimate process.  Even if we did know for sure the name, it’s not something that I necessarily want to share with the random person I just met.  We have decided to keep the name a surprise for everyone until he’s born.  Primarily because what if we meet him and decide no, this is totally the wrong name for this child  (not that I expect to know his personality well enough when he’s 2 days old and we’re forced to pick a name before leaving the hospital).  Also, people can be mean when you share your chosen name before the child is born.  We’ve been calling him Taric, if we told our family and friends this is what we are naming him I’m SURE at least one person would say – really?  Oh, you don’t want to do that.  I knew a Taric once, he was such a bully, you can’t name him that, it’s an awful name.  Really?  I’ve spent all this time finding the perfect name, and in one breath you are going to stomp on my heart because you knew one Taric when you were 10yrs old and can’t get over it?  If we name our child Taric and not tell anyone until they meet him or see his picture they will say “Oh, Taric, his is so adorable”, then they can all talk to each other about what a strange name, and they leave our hearts alone.  Verbal Answer – We aren’t sure yet, we plan to take a few names to the hospital with us.  Answer in my head – We think we have a name, but because I love you and don’t want you to be mean to me, I’m not sharing it with you, or anyone. 
4. What are you craving?  Honestly, nothing really.  I may partake in foods I enjoyed before pregnancy more now (read – Thai food and sweets), but I think that is just me making up for all the wine and unpasteurized cheeses I’m avoiding.   I have a hard time believing that people really “crave” a sheet of brownies.  Come on, we all “crave” a sheet of brownies, but it’s called SELF-CONTROL that keeps us for eating them all at once, or sending our husbands out in the middle of the night to get whatever sounds good at that moment.  Now don’t get me wrong, my sweet tooth has picked it up a notch recently, but I still keep it under control with a lot of mental will-power.
5. How do you feel?  This answer changes a lot.  Most of the time my answer is “ok” or “can’t complain”, because really, I have had an easy pregnancy in the whole scheme of things.  1st Trimester answer – This felt like a month-long hangover.  I never got sick (which I still can’t believe since I’m a puker), but for a solid 4 weeks, then off and on for 2-3 more weeks, I would wake up with what felt like the morning after a day of watching football and drinking beer.  I had to be super careful with what I ate to not trigger a visit to the porcelain gods.  Twice it felt like the day after a wedding.  Thankfully I never had a New Year’s Day.  By the end, I told Eric that I hated to complain since I knew it could be much worse, but every night I would hope that I would wake the next morning feeling better.  Note to my non-preggo ladies – next time you wake up hung over and think “why, why did I have that extra glass of wine last night”, think of it as training for your 1st trimester.  2nd Trimester answer – I felt GREAT!   I’m not sure I fully appreciated how exhausting the 1st Tri was until I was out of it.  (I have no idea how women go through that 1st Tri with a toddler running around).  One day I woke up, had my old levels of energy back, and my stomach was back to normal.  That’s when the planner in me really came out, but I had to tone it down a bit to accommodate our travel and work schedules – and keep our sanity!  3rd Trimester answer – my answer seems to change every week.  For the most part, I’m feeling great, but each week I feel that I’m slowing down.  I ran until the end of January, when my lower back reminded me that running with a 20lb bowling ball strapped to my waist wasn’t the best idea.  A few weeks ago my body told me that my weekend walks need to be shorter and slower.  Some days I feel “pregnant”, particularly when I have to catch my breath mid-sentence and I’m fanning myself in a t-shirt while my coworkers are wearing sweaters. 

That’s it for now!